Monthly Archives: January 2010

[FridayFlash] I’ve Got Bills in All the Right Places

I thought I’d go way back into the archives of my life for this week’s episode of FridayFlash. A little background: in 2004, straight out of graduating magna cum laude, three internships under my belt, and a history of nearly all straight-As, I found myself unable to obtain a job in my chosen field. Thus, I found myself in the most humiliating position possible for a 20-something with a sense of entitlement — a cashier in the automotive department at Wal-Mart.

I was there for a mere two weeks before I put in my notice, and I rounded out my stay at five.  The silver lining is that I had plenty to write about for my first venture into NaNoWriMo back in 2005. Now, I present to you an updated excerpt from that novel/memoir –  a snapshot of a day in my life as a Wal-Mart employee.


I’VE GOT BILLS IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES

Somewhat inexplicably, the automotive department at Wal-Mart attracts an unusual number of very strange women.  Most pass out of memory within a few hours if not minutes, but there was one woman who will be forever burned into my mind barring any sort of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-style brain therapy.

One day, late in the afternoon, nearing both the end of my shift and the end of my service to the Big Blue Sign, a very overweight woman, probably nearing 400 lbs., came up to the counter to pay for some merchandise.  I tell you this not to be rude or judgmental, but simply to paint an accurate picture of the situation.

I rang up her merchandise and presented her total, which was less than $2.  She began digging around in her sweatpants’ pocket for change, which she handed to me one coin at a time as she found it.  Though this was certainly annoying, and while it took all my mental prowess to ignore the disturbing warmth of the coins in my hand, I was mostly unfazed.  I’d experienced worse.  My discomfort was not enough to prepare me for what was about to play out.

“I think I put a dollar in my bra,” she proclaimed.

My first response to this was confusion.  It was followed quickly by horror, as my mind could no longer ignore the body-heated coins in my hands. I tried to convince myself that I was simply having some sort of David Lynch-style nightmare.  Surely, I was bound to wake up any second.  All hope was shattered, though, as I watched her begin to fondle her own massive and ill-supported breasts.

I began a silent chant to any god that would listen to make that dollar bill so hidden within the depths and folds of femininity before me that it would never be found again — or at least not until after my shift had ended.  But her hands only searched more fervently as the intensity of my prayers increased.

I was about to offer a dollar from my own meagerly-supplied wallet in order to prevent having to handle anything that had come out of the crevasse of this woman’s cleavage.  But then, as abruptly as the caressing and squishing and prodding had begun, it stopped.  We stared at each other for one of those moments that seem impossibly long.  Terrible thoughts of her next attempt to find the dollar bill filled my mind — one in particular ending with a sweaty triple-F Maidenform bra flung at my face sent an involuntary shudder through my body.  And then, she uttered the most glorious words I’d heard up until that point in my life.

“I must have put it in my billfold,” she resolved.

I laughed, half in relief and half at the absurdity as she pulled a black leather billfold out of her purse.  She looked at me if I was touched in the head.  I muttered an apology and took her unsullied dollar bill.  As she left with her purchases,  she spared me one last, curious-annoyed glance as she walked out the door.  And I, beaten down and exhausted, could only smile politely back.


© 2010 Elizabeth Ditty

[FridayFlash] Sympathy, in Three Parts

SYMPATHY, IN THREE PARTS

I.

He’d been telling lies so long he’d bought into his own bullshit.  Almost.  He still had just faint enough a grasp on truth that he could see when someone was trying to shine a light.  He could detect when someone was escaping his grasp, and while he was always reluctant to let them go, most simply weren’t worth the effort of keeping.  So, he pushed them out the door, but not before dumping a carafe of blackness into their souls.  No one would ever again look at those who had left him without a pitiful or resentful eye.  He demanded the crowd’s sympathy for himself.

II.

She’d been telling lies so long she couldn’t bring herself to do it anymore.  It was killing her.  She’d nearly forgotten what it was like to live the way she’d been designed.  But something deep within her held on.  And with every lie she told and with every lie she tried so hard to believe, it grew.  And it became fierce.  Unable to escape the blackness, she drank it in.  She used it, and it fed the beast inside her.  At last, it emerged, overtaking her weakness, and together they escaped.  They demanded sympathy from no one.

III.

The crowd could no longer tell lies from the truth.  It looked at the portraits presented and chose the painting over the photograph.  The truth was hard to swallow, so they downed the drinkable lie.  The crowd feared the honest beast, thinking it a monster bent on tearing down their houses.  The crowd needed to lie down in comfort, even if the mattress was stuffed with lies.  And so it looked upon the beast with pity and resentment, or it didn’t look upon it at all, because the painter told them to do so.  They peddled pride, mistaking it for sympathy.


© 2010 Elizabeth Ditty

Dorian Gray on Film

Having finally gotten to see the movie I was most anticipating for 2009, the most recent film version of my favorite novel, and because I’ll take any opportunity I can get to discuss Dorian Gray in any way, shape, or form, I thought I’d take some blog space to look at the two most well-known attempts to turn Oscar Wilde’s only novel into a cinematic experience.  Obviously, spoilers abound, both for the novel and the specific films.

I’ll be looking at what I consider key elements in telling of the story of Dorian Gray, which include: Sybil’s Fall, Dorian’s Arc, Hedonism, The Portrait, Lord Henry as the Devil, and the Opportunity for Salvation.


THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY (1945)

Writer/Director: Albert Lewin
Dorian: Hurd Hatfield
Lord Henry: George Sanders
Basil: Lowell Gilmore
Sybil: Angela Lansbury
3rd Act Love Interest: Donna Reed (as Gladys Hallward)

Sybil’s Fall: Taken by her beauty and her voice (in this version, Sybil is a chanteuse rather than a Shakespearean actress), Dorian is enthralled by this first love experience.  He’s ready to commit to the fantasy and to Sybil, until Lord Henry suggests that he test her chastity.  Dorian agrees, and Sybil, albeit reluctantly, fails that test.  By giving herself to Dorian, she proves her unworthiness to him.  He drops her; she commits suicide.  While different and a bit more crude (but perhaps necessarily so for a cinematic version), this cut-and-dry destruction of the relationship is effective as Dorian’s first foray into manipulating those around him.

Dorian’s Arc: My issue with this version of Dorian is that we never really get to see any reaction from him.  He never seems all that fazed by anything.  He’s always wearing a mask, and he never shows his cards to anyone — not even the audience.  In the novel, Dorian is extremely emotional and impetuous.  When Lord Henry first needles him about the fact that he will age and his painting will not, Dorian petulantly throws himself onto the divan and has himself a good cry.  We never get to see this sort of emotion from Hurt Hatfield’s Dorian.  Whether by actor’s interpretation, writing or direction, he appears bored most of the film.  As a reader, Dorian’s journey was of foremost interest to me.  In this film version, we don’t get to go on that journey with Dorian; we only get to witness the events as they happen to him.

Hedonism: One aspect of the novel that is particular hard to translate to cinema is Dorian’s hedonistic lifestyle.  The 1945 version takes the approach of the novel: it doesn’t show much at all, leaving the worst of Dorian’s sins to our imagination.  In the novel, this is very effective.  It’s less so in the film.  However, considering the social climate at the time this film was made, the approach was appropriate.  It pushed no boundaries on screen, but perhaps it did it the minds of the audience.

The Portrait: The only thing shot in technicolor in 1945′s otherwise black & white version, the portrait is certainly striking if a bit cartoonish.

Original

Defiled

Lord Henry as the Devil: In the 1945 version, Lord Henry gets the quips of the novel without as much of the bite.  He’s not quite the master manipulator of either the novel or the 2009 version.  For his role in Sybil’s fall, he simply tells Dorian what to do.  He remains blissfully unaware of most of Dorian’s atrocities.  He gives Dorian a philosophy, but it’s Dorian who runs with it full tilt.

The Opportunity for Salvation: Here we find Dorian also having grown bored with life, though his demeanor is not significantly changed from his youth.  When he finds the opportunity for love with Basil Hallward’s niece, Gladys, he decides he must destroy the painting once and for all, so as not to fall back into temptation.  Unfortunately, in doing so, he destroys himself.  He dies as the man in the picture.  The picture returns to its state of eternal, youthful beauty.  Because we never saw the depths of Dorian’s despair, it was hard to feel the tragedy in his end.  It felt neither earned or unfair; it was simply another event in the strange tale of Dorian’s life.


DORIAN GRAY (2009)

Writer: Toby Finlay
Director: Oliver Parker
Dorian: Ben Barnes
Lord Henry: Colin Firth
Basil: Ben Chaplin
Sybil: Rachel Hurd-Wood
3rd Act Love Interest: Rebecca Hall (as Emily Wotton)

Sybil’s Fall: In this version, Sybil once again gives herself to Dorian, though it’s worth noting she doesn’t take much convincing. (Who could blame her?) It’s not this that leads to Dorian’s shunning of her.  Instead, it requires a bit more finagling on the part of Lord Henry, who takes Dorian to an opium den where he experiences both the pleasures of opium and the ladies selling it — an experience which also causes him to miss Sybil’s play.  After the performance, when Sybil is already suspicious of Dorian’s whereabouts, Lord Henry pushes another thorn into Dorian’s side by asking Sybil when they plan to start a family.  Her answer of “soon” causes a bit of hemming and hawing from Dorian.  Lord Henry takes his leave (to the balcony to watch the fallout he’s masterminded).  Dorian is extremely cold to Sybil, who begs him to make her his wife rather than one of his “whores.”  At this point, Dorian walks away, lured by a life of new and unlimited experience rather than one of constancy.

If Sybil had been written as she was in the novel, Rachel Hurd-Wood would have been perfect casting.  However, in the 2009 version, they make her much less of a wilting flower. It was never clear whether she was truly in awe of Dorian, as she was in the novel, or whether she simply wanted to make a good catch, so to speak.  In some ways, they make her character much stronger, such as when she yells at Dorian to make her his wife instead of one of his whores.  Because of this, we never see her crumble, never see her so fully crushed as we would need to to believe she would throw herself off a bridge.

Dorian’s Arc: One of the things I liked best about the 2009 version is that we followed Dorian’s journey much more closely.  Ben Barnes as Dorian was as emotional as I’d hoped he’d be.  We got to see him be frustrated with Lord Henry one moment and charmed by him the next.  In one of his last scenes with Basil, we see him flip the switch from annoyed and cruel to the picture of innocence in one take.  In that scene especially, we understand how hard it is for people to reconcile the rumors of Dorian’s lascivious lifestyle with that of his appearance.  In contrast with Hatfield’s Dorian, Barnes’ Dorian runs the emotional gamut.  He is constantly searching for more, both horrified by his actions but even more impressed by his own achievements.  Only when he returns after a 25-year absence do we see that he has become bored with a life of hedonism.  As he puts it, “pleasure is very different from happiness.”

Hedonism: The 2009 version takes the opposite approach of the 1945 version.  It attempts to showcase Dorian’s hedonism: from an opium den threesome to engaging in a little “double or nothing” bet at a debutante ball to bisexual orgies and finally forays into sadomasochistic sex.  The problem with such an approach, of course, is that this sort of behavior, visually sanitized for a UK rating of 15, is not quite as shocking as it perhaps should be.  That being said, what was more effective than the actual events themselves was seeing their effects on Dorian.  Seeing his reactions go from shocked and uncomfortable to manipulative and obsessed with consumption was much harder to watch than the shock-value sex scenes themselves.  The occasional glimpse of clarity for Dorian (the news of Sybil’s death, the realization that he’s killed Basil, the moment of Jim Vane’s demise) are truly heartbreaking.  It’s an emotional ride that isn’t present in the 1945 version.

The Portrait: Perhaps the aspect that has received the most criticism in the 2009 version is the heavily CGI portrait.  This painting not only decays and devolves, but it also groans, moves, and is infested with maggots.  In essence, it is supposed to be a living, breathing manifestation of Dorian’s soul: his unfortunate, trapped doppelganger.  When Dorian attempts to kill it, it tries to escape from the confines of the canvas.  It’s a good thought, but it’s not really all that effective.  But again, with a modern audience, would a stationary painting really have provided the shock and awe required?  There’s no denying that the CGI goes over the top, but the effort to visualize the incident is impressive in its gusto if not in its success.

Original

Defiled

Lord Henry as the Devil: Lord Henry is a much more active figure in the 2009 version.  He not only provides the philosophy, but he pushes Dorian to explore it.  He introduces him to gin, cigarettes, opium and sex.  He opens Dorian’s eyes to the world of pleasure and encourages him to explore it to the fullest: “People die of common sense, Dorian, one lost moment at a time. Life is a moment; there is no hereafter. So make it burn, always, with the hardest flame.”  At times he is explicit in his guidance, as when he places the “double or nothing” bet at the debutante ball.  Other times, he is more serpentine, as in his role in the demise of Dorian & Sybil’s engagement.  Dorian is everything he wishes he could be, and he enjoys pushing him.  Only when he has something of his own to lose — his daughter, Emily — does he chastise Dorian for his actions.  Even so, he never truly admits to his role in Dorian’s demise.  Dorian, in some ways, finds his redemption.  Lord Henry never does.

The Opportunity for Salvation: After having exhausted even his own depths for hedonism, Dorian returns to London, bored with life, cut off from the world he used to know both by rumor and by appearance.  The society he knows has aged; internally, he has aged perhaps more than anyone, but none of that is visible.  He has a notion that he might try to be good at this point — after all, what’s left? — but even that is an effort void of any joy.  He is finally beginning to see the consequences of his actions, to truly feel them, and it’s not a pleasant experience. At a charity piano performance that hearkens back to his day as a true innocent, he is interrupted by the shouts of a man angry that his daughter has attended.  He bellows to the crowd how absurd it is that such a cruel and morally decrepit man has received “a babe’s face.”

Later, Dorian finds himself accosted by Jim Vane, his mind ravaged by the loss of his sister 26 years ago.  He escapes him once by way of his youthful looks and finally by a cruel twist of fate resulting in Jim’s death.  Though he avoids bodily injury, the incident shakes him, perhaps for the first time since Sybil’s death.  In a moment of panic, distraught, searching for some bit of salvation, he finds himself on the doorstep of his old friend, Lord Henry.  Emily answers, and she comforts him, having already begun to fall for his tortured soul in the weeks since his return.  She is the first source of comfort he’s had in years, and he seems to begin to understand the concept of love once again.

Despite Lord Henry’s understandable objections, the pair make plans to leave London so Dorian can start over. Lord Henry throws a party as a diversion so he can sneak into Dorian’s attic where the painting resides.  This leads to a showdown between Lord Henry and Dorian.  Emily arrives to find Dorian locked in the fiery attic with his painting.  He has the key, and she begs him for it to unlock the door.  Knowing what she will see, and knowing that he has the opportunity to spare her, he refuses.  He professes his love and then sends her away, finally understanding what it is to put someone’s needs above his own.  He turns to face his portrait, and thus his own demise.  The last scene of the film shows the portrait, having survived the fire, returned to its innocent, youthful state, being locked in Lord Henry’s attic.


For me, 2009′s DORIAN GRAY has surpassed 1945′s THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY as the pre-eminent film version of Wilde’s novel.  While the 1945 take is perhaps more faithful to the events of the novel, the 2009 version is a far more effective take on the heart of the novel.  In the places where the 2009 version fails, it does so because it attempts to do more.  I have a soft spot for films that are earnest in their endeavors, even when they’re not entirely successful.  2009′s DORIAN GRAY falls into that category.

[FridayFlash] The World Still Shakes

In light of the crisis in Haiti, please consider donating time or money to help those in need.  A list of ways to donate can be found here.


THE WORLD STILL SHAKES

Life was still, or at least it seemed so.
And then the world shook.
It shook free our souls.
Some left.  Some shattered.  Some were shaken but not destroyed.
All were changed.
Chaos reigned for a time.
Aid waged war against it.
The sun somehow continues to rise.
But the world still shakes.


© 2010 Elizabeth Ditty

Haiku Review: 12 January 2010

I’m tired of doing normal mini-reviews, so I’m going to try my hand at doing haiku reviews instead.  If you’d like to know what I thought about a particular movie in more detail, just ask. :-)

Arsenic and Old Lace (4 stars):  screwball comedy / with a bit of slapstick, too / Cary Grant is hot

District 9 (5 stars): men v. aliens / against odds, two join forces/ one of the year’s best

Blind Date (4 stars): a tragic story / hopeful yet melancholy / captivating leads

Nine (2½ stars): pretty to look at / A few enjoyable songs / otherwise empty

Nosferatu (3 stars): vampires are scary / and can haunt your dreams with ease / when they’re not sparkly

The General (4 stars): a silent movie / with a delightful story / and Buster Keaton

Up in the Air (4 stars): a story about / the worth of what we carry / or leave behind us

What’s Up, Doc? (3 stars): Barbara Streisand / plays a screwball heroine / who gets what she wants

Kill Bill Vol. 2 (5 stars): revenge fantasy / and unknown consequences / not for claustrophobes

Statuesque [short film] (4 stars): Neil Gaiman directs / a short, silent film about / statues come to life

Avatar (4 stars): we’ve seen this before / but it’s still a good story / with gorgeous visuals

Shaun of the Dead (4 stars): a zombie movie / that spoofs but has lots of heart / Simon Pegg is great

The Bicycle Thief (2 stars): black, white, and silent / an Italian classic film / I hate the ending

Rebel Without A Cause (4 stars): a James Dean movie / that was surprisingly great / holds up against time

The First Wives Club (2½): so-so comedy / about fed-up ex-spouses / who get their revenge

Leap Year (2½): guilty pleasure film / rom-com clichés left and right / Ozymandias

My Most Anticipated Movies of 2010

I’m going with movies that actually have a wide release date attached, so as not to get my hopes up like last year (DORIAN GRAY and NEW YORK, I LOVE YOU , I’m looking at you!).  These are listed in order of release date.

__________

VALENTINE’S DAY
February 12

IMDB
Trailer

I’m a sucker for large ensemble romantic comedies, OK? I loved last year’s HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, and I expect to love this year’s entry into the genre as well.

__________

ALICE IN WONDERLAND
March 5

IMDB
Trailer

Tim Burton films are always must-see for me these days.  So are Johnny Depp films.  And to finish out the triad of reasons why this is must-see, it’s Disney, too.

__________

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
March 26

IMDB
Trailer

One of the people behind this film is Chris Sanders, who brought the world LILO & STITCH, which currently holds the title of My Second Favorite Disney Movie Ever.  I’ve been waiting for quite a while to see what he’d do next after being, ahem, let go from the cookie cutter animated film BOLT.  Apparently his vision for it was too quirky and too dark, which is exactly what makes me a fan of his work.

__________

OCEANS
April 22

IMDB
Trailer

DisneyNature’s first entry, EARTH, was gorgeous but suffered a bit from its narrative presentation.  That being said, it was still a pretty amazing documentary film.  If OCEANS lives up to EARTH, it’ll be great.  If they can provide a better narrative, it’ll be awesome.

__________

SEX AND THE CITY 2
May 28

IMDB
Trailer

Having taken in the entire series and movie last year, I’m now quite a fan of SEX & THE CITY.  I certainly wouldn’t call myself rabid, but I’ll still be there opening weekend to see the second film.

__________

KNIGHT AND DAY
July 2

IMDB
Trailer

I’m a bit surprised to find myself spotlighting this, to be honest, since action isn’t generally my thing, but the trailer completely won me over.  The fact that this is an action comedy, and maybe even an action romantic comedy (which is apparently the new black), certainly ups the Anticipation Factor.  It looks like it’s going to give Tom Cruise the opportunity to play the sort of morally gray, slick, quick-talking character I think he does best.

__________

EAT, PRAY, LOVE
August 13

IMDB

Loved the book. Love Julia Roberts. Not sure how they’ve made it cinematic, but I’ll definitely be seeing it to find out.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1
November 19

IMDB
Sneak Peek

Do I really need to explain this one?

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RAPUNZEL
November 24

IMDB

Disney’s next animated offering presents a new watercolor-esque CGI.  Doesn’t it look pretty?  I think it looks pretty.  Bonus: Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi are voicing the leads.

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THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER
December 10

IMDB

This one gets three pics because it’s the one I’m most excited about.  After the disappointing (but still profitable!) performance of PRINCE CASPIAN at the box office due to poor timing of the release (the film itself was actually an improvement over THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE), it looked for a while like the Narnia franchise was in trouble.  Luckily, 20th Century Fox swooped in and saved the day.  DAWN TREADER is many people’s favorite in the series.  A roving adventure story set on the high seas of the Narnian world, it has potential to be the most visually stunning and narratively exciting film in the series so far.

__________

Those are the mainstream films I’m most looking forward to in 2010.  What are you anticipating this year?

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