A Moleskine Notebook Excerpt from Today
Have woken up to news that Nicholl does not love me. Not even a P.S. this year. Had made terrible mistake of getting hopes up after making BlueCat semi-finals. Am now convinced BlueCat is complete fluke; name was obviously there by mistake.
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Considering chucking writing dream & becoming Domestic Goddess instead. Ignoring current state of house as indicator of potential success.
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Was just asked what activities are therapeutic for me (in lieu of shopping, which tends toward destructive for both finances and morale). Came up blank. Perhaps could be part of problem.
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Have found relaxation solution! Need hot tub. No purpose besides relaxation. Perfect.
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Have realized have no money for hot tub & hot tubs are expensive.
Possible solutions:
1) Sell script.
2) Acquire sugar daddy.
3) Sell soul to devil (probably pays better, money being root of all evil, after all).
4) Find nasty info on celeb/politician & blackmail.
5) Convince parents to buy one instead & mooch unapologetically (hot tub will melt away guilt, surely).
Fear all possible solutions are 1) likely to increase stress, at which point will have to find other means of relaxation in transition period between start of plan and acquisition of hot tub, and 2) unlikely.
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Relaxation is too hard & obviously for the birds.
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Reconsidering notion to become Domestic Goddess as have just dumped potently colored lunch ALL OVER SELF.
(Then scooped off chair & shirt & back onto plate and then into mouth as it was rather delicious.)
Perhaps Domestic Goddnessness is still in the cards, with application of apron and/or bib at all times.
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Have just discovered presence of four black beans and one cherry tomato underneath arse. Make that four smushed black beans and one crushed cherry tomato. Did not eat them.
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Friend: “You are a creature of grace and wonder today.” Too true, I know. Just like every day.
April is Madness
April brings its own special kind of spring fever to my neck of the woods. The little kid soccer team I coach starts their season back up. My youngest sister starts playing high school soccer again. The lawn starts needing mowing again, and there’s that whole spring cleaning business, too. And of course there’s the short film I’m preparing to shoot in May. And then, on top of all that, I’m supposed to write a brand new screenplay? Apparently so. I know things are getting out of hand when I start resorting to a to-do list, and I know things are especially bad when, at the top of that to do list, I decide to add a little bit of motivational pep talk.
The sad thing is, the motivational pep talk doesn't even have any pep. It's as tired as I am.
But hey. “We are intrepid. We carry on.” Right?
So, if you, like me, are feeling a little overwhelmed this month, here’s how I’m dealing.
Make it concrete. The to-do list is not a joke, folks. Laying out the tasks you would like to reasonably accomplish is the first step to actually getting stuff done. When everything’s swirling around in your brain, it’s like staring at a bowl of alphabet soup. Nothing makes sense. Ditch the milk, take out the letters, and arrange them into something you can read. Plus there’s something really satisfying about marking off an item. When I get overwhelmed, I like to resort to the old-fashioned paper list, but there are some great online to-do lists out there, too. The one I use most often is gubb.net, but find one that works for you and use it.
Don’t forget time to relax. Put it on your to-do list. If you’re going a million miles a minute every minute of the day, your brain will stop working. Give it time to stop thinking for a bit, even if it’s only for 15-20 minutes. Read a book. Meditate. Watch a TV show. Catch a movie if you can spare the time.
Break the big tasks down. I ran into a tiny issue with my script suddenly developing a case of schizophrenia. I was essentially writing two completely different stories in the same script. The result is that, after having written 40 pages, I realized I pretty much needed to start over. I knew I’d be able to salvage a little from my original 40 pages, but the bulk of everything would be new. So, after a good push this weekend, I’m looking at writing 70 pages in the next 11 days if I want to have a complete first draft by the end of the month. That sounds like a lot. However, when I break it down, it’s really only about 6½ pages a day. That’s much easier to swallow.
Focus. I don’t usually have a problem using IM and twitter when I’m writing. I’ve got the weird Gen-Y thing where a little distraction usually helps me. However, I found this weekend that, with everything else already swirling around in my brain, adding IM and twitter to the mix whilst trying to write was not working. On Friday night, I wrote about one page in the course of two hours. Not good, folks. Finally realized I needed to sign off, and I managed to kick out about 5 pages in 40 minutes. Much better. Lesson? Focus on whatever you’re doing, and, if you’re having trouble doing that, eliminate any could-be distractions.
Be healthy. Don’t forget that you need your body in order to do this whole writing thing. Don’t give up eating well, and, if you’re in the habit of working out, don’t let it fall by the wayside. Additionally, as Tony Horton says, “Drink your water, people.” You can have your caffeine, too, but make sure your not letting your brain dry out.
Now, when we make it through the month alive, if you’re still jonesing for more screenwriting action instead of, I don’t know, a margarita-filled beach vacation, there are a couple of workshops happening the first weekend in May.
Here in Kansas City, the BlueCat folks are holding a full script workshop on May 1. I attended a 10-page workshop last May and came out of it having learned a lot. The chance to mingle with your fellow, local screenwriters is really valuable, so it’s definitely something worth checking out. As I’m writing this, there are just 3 spots left, though there is also an audit option (where you attend and get to take part in the discussions but don’t get your own script workshopped). Check it out here (along with a list of upcoming workshops in other areas).
Secondly, Julie Gray of Just Effing Entertain Me (formerly The Rouge Wave) and The Script Department is conducting a series of classes/workshops. On May 1 & 2, she’s got one in San Francisco. Julie’s blog is a wonderful source of information and motivation. I personally have used The Script Department’s services, and my phone consultation with Julie was extremely helpful. I’m hoping she’ll make it to Kansas City one day, but, for you lucky folks in the San Francisco area, her workshop is definitely something worth checking out. You can find all the pertinent info here.
That’s all for now. Keep on keeping on, as they say. April will be over soon. But not so soon that you should worry about not being able to finish your script. Right.
Screenwriting and the Art of Optimism
If you feel like having your hopes dashed and your dreams pooh-poohed, there are plenty of avenues to do that in the world of screenwriting. Upon entering the Wide World of RSS Feeds, a dear friend and fellow aspiring screenwriter lamented at how overwhelming it all was. There’s a wealth of information and opinion out there, and it’s easy to end up with this as the overall message: “You, Fledgling Screenwriter, are supposed to be doing Items A through ZZZ, and even if you’re doing every single one of those things, the odds of making it are positively Lilliputian.”
I’ve now made the first cut of two screenwriting competitions but failed to progress to the next round. The BlueCat Screenwriting Competition announced their semi-finalists last night (the top 1 percent of 3200 entries down from the top 20 percent for quarterfinals), and I was not on their list. Cue Existential Crisis.
I’m feeling better this morning than I was last night, and I’m feeling better now than I was when I got up. By the end of the day, hopefully I’ll be back into Write the Next Thing Mode, which is good since I’m on the verge of finishing up my current work. (Whilst jumping back into writing tonight, though, I may fill that last bit of emptiness in my heart where a semi-finalist placement would have resided with what some may call copious amounts of wine and maybe a bit of carrot cake, too.)
So, the question remains, if you still feel like you have to do this Thing Called Writing despite all the frustration and heartbreak and general down-in-the-dumpness that accompanies it, how do you stop yourself from sinking into a deep pit of melancholy and bitterness? Well, here’s how I do it.
- Surround yourself with positive people who know when to give you realism (whilst giving notes on your shitty-but-with-potential firstish drafts) and when to say, “Screw realism. You’re awesome, and you need to keep going because the world is in need of your brand of awesomeness.”
- Allow yourself to take a sabbatical from the Blogs of Doom. Most of the time, I can pick out the beneficial information from the dour tones, but sometimes it gets to be a little much. And when that happens, it’s OK to step away from it for a bit.
- Read or watch (or even do) something inspiring or escapist or heartwarming. Sometimes life is overwhelming; there’s nothing wrong with hitting your own personal pause button and taking some time to do something purely enjoyable for a few hours.
- Exercise. Honestly. Endorphins and all that. Additionally, I find any sort of kickboxing/taebo/kenpo workout coupled with visualization of naysayers does wonders.
- Get out in the world. Pick up a new hobby. Go somewhere you’ve never been before. Do something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t because you’ve been afraid or alone or didn’t know where to start. Have an experience.
- Keep writing. Finish what you’re writing. Start something new. Take an excursion into a different medium. But keep writing. Keep generating ideas. Be a shark. Keep moving.
Those tactics usually do the trick for me. Perhaps there is an end to my rope, and maybe one day I’ll reach it and give up the ghost. But for the timebeing, it’s not in sight. Onward and upward, as they say.
(“And remember, keep your powder dry.”)
Recap: 16 June 2009 + Good news!
Wow, has it really been two-plus weeks since I’ve done a post? Sorry about that! I’ve been on vacation the past eight days, but now I’m back in the saddle (literally starting Sunday).
What I Watched
- The Hangover (4 stars): This movie is, in my opinion, what Pineapple Express should have been. It was hilarious and outrageous, and my sister and I both had a fantastic time. It’s surprisingly tame as far as sex and nudity goes until the closing credits. What really makes the movie work beyond the gags and jokes and shock-value moments is the fact that the movie has heart. In the end, it’s really a story of four guys who care a lot about one another; it’s just wrapped in the most ridiculous and loud package ever.
- His Girl Friday (3½ stars): This movie starts as a fairly typical screwball comedy but evolves into something that tackles some fairly serious subject matter before ending up back in screwball. And it works pretty well. Rosalind Russell and Cary Grant shine, as would be expected. This was apparently one of the first movies where actors talked over one another in order to better mimic natural speech. The technique might have been used a little excessively, but watching Russell and Grant spar was still fun.
- I Love You to Death (3 stars): This is a dark comedy starring Kevin Kline as a philandering Italian husband who finally gets caught cheating by his wife. His wife proceeds to try to kill him, but things do not go according to plan. This wasn’t a fantastic movie, but Kevin Kline as an over-the-top first-gen Italian New Yorker was pretty hilarious. Worth checking out if you’re in the mood for something silly and/or Kevin Kline.
- Benny & Joon (5 stars): I adore this movie. Seriously. So, so, so much. Sweet, funny, heartwrenching at times, and, ultimately, completely and utterly heartwarming. Johnny Depp, per usual, is fantastic, and Mary Stuart Masterson and Aidan Quinn are also great. I can’t believe this has a below-7 rating on IMDB. Highly, highly underrated, and equally recommended by me.
- December Boys (3 stars): Full disclosure: I watched this on a smaller-than-I’m-used-to TV with mediocre-at-best sound in a condo with plenty of distractions. That being said, the movie didn’t really do much to keep my attention. The exception being when Daniel Radcliffe was on screen, and I don’t mean that in a cradle-robbing sort of way. The kid gives a very good performance, and his character struck me as by far the most interesting. I think the main problem was that there were just too many different storylines to keep track of in the movie; perhaps it would have made a better miniseries.
What I Read
I finished The Romance Readers’ Book Club
I left American Gods
The Good News
Last night, after trying very hard all day not to think (i.e., worry) about the BlueCat quarterfinalists being posted, I finally allowed myself to pull up the Web site around 10:15 p.m. only to find that the results had not been posted. My muse at that point started laughing at me because I was supposed to be touching up my outline for the screenplay I’m starting today.
So, I trudged back to my outline and did a few lines, but, about 15 minutes later, I could take it no longer and pulled up the site again. This time, the results were up. In reaction, I immediately tensed, and then I told myself it didn’t matter whether I was on that list or not because it doesn’t change what I do next, which is keep working.
So, after several nervous, catch-my-breath pauses whilst scrolling down the list, I finally came to the Ms, and then to the Mos, and then to the Mus. I took a deep breath, and then I moved my scroll wheel one more click. There it was! “Mute by Elizabeth Ditty.”
After jumping around (and removing the last bit of water from my ear from swimming laps earlier), I called my family and told them the news, to which they replied, “We didn’t understand you. Less squealy.” So I told them again, and they were pleased for me. So, that’s the good news. And, in case you couldn’t tell, I’m pretty excited about it.
The BlueCat 10-Page Workshop: Lessons Learned
I attended one of Gordy Hoffman’s BlueCat 10-Page Screenwriting workshops this past Saturday in Kansas City. For those unfamiliar, these workshops involve exchanging the first 10 pages of a screenplay with nine other writers in preparation for reading them aloud and commenting at the workshop.
I came away with a number of lessons.
- Sometimes it’s impossible to judge the potential of a script by its first 10 pages.
- People will do it anyway, so you’d better do everything you can to make sure those first 10 pages are good.
- Writers who appear to be beginners can still offer excellent advice to writers who have been at it a bit longer.
- As an aspiring writer (in addition to many other time in life), writing people off before you’ve fully heard and understood what they have to say is a mistake.
- As Gordy himself said, all the how-to guides out there are simply solutions to the problem of how to tell a compelling story. There’s really not a wrong way to do that, per se. If you’re keeping people interested, you’re on the right track.
Now, with those four lessons, I also have a confession. It’s not an easy one because I really strive to have humility regarding my writing and myself in general. But the fact remains that, when you work very hard at learning a craft, the ins, the outs, the technical aspects, the theoretical aspects, all of it… Well, you’re bound to develop a bit of an ego, even if it’s a realistic one in which you know you don’t know everything but you know you do know a little because you’ve worked and are working your tail off to learn everything you can. And sometimes that little bit of ego is all the reward you have in a given moment: the knowledge that you are doing everything you can. And by “you,” I mean “me.” So, that being said and perhaps unnecessarily justified, here is my confession.
After receiving the nine other screenplays, I was highly skeptical about how the workshop was going to go.
There was some solid stuff, but there was also some stuff I deemed not so solid. I don’t need to go into detail here about any specific thoughts, but what I will say is that I was ridiculously impressed by Gordy’s ability to dig out the potential — and offer suggestions on how to start down the path to reaching that potential — in each of the 10-page samples. It’s a quality that I always considered to be one of my own strengths, but, I must say, whatever ability I have in that area pales in comparison to what Gordy showcased.
I do realize that this presents a certain caveat venditor, though: If someone who actually strives to be open-minded and seek out potential is thrown off by nonstandard formatting, spelling and grammar issues, and nontraditional structure, then think how much more turned off an industry reader who must sift through any number of scripts a day will be. So, it’s probably wise to do your research regarding those things.
Here are a few resources I’ve found wildly helpful:
- [A gift to all aspiring screenwriters] John August’s blog
- [A solid go-to style guide] The Hollywood Standard
- [Advice from the trenches of Hollywood] The Rouge Wave
- [An easy-to-understand guide to structure] Save The Cat!
and Save the Cat! Goes to the Movies
- [A blog to pick you up when you're feeling down] Blake Snyder’s blog
I really enjoyed the BlueCat workshop, and I’d highly recommend attending one if the opportunity is available to you. Gordy is realistic without being harsh, and he played a big part in making everyone feel at ease throughout the day. We all shared a lot of laughs and a lot of great advice, and I’m looking forward to keeping in touch with my fellow workshoppers.
