Category Archives: short fiction

[short fiction] Notice

Updates, end of year reviews and top 10 lists soon. Until then, here’s a little holiday drabble. Hope you enjoy.


NOTICE

Winter wonderlands. White Christmases. Sleigh rides, hot chocolate. Snow ball fights and snow angels. Cozying up by the fire.
That’s me, you know.
Not the fat man in red.
Not his eight or nine reindeer.
Not his jolly elf army.
It’s all me.
I’m not the enemy.
I make the magic.
All I’m asking for is a little credit where credit’s due.
Consider this your notice.
You’ll call it what you want. An unseasonably warm trend. A heat wave. El Niño. Global warming.
You’ll want me back sooner or later.
You always do.
Until then, Jack Frost is on strike.


© 2011 Elizabeth Ditty

[short fiction] Frogs

So, I’m knee-deep in NaNoWriMo at the moment, but I wanted to drop in and say, “Hello, I’m not dead, and the things I was working on like STILL and scripty sorts of things are not dead either and are simply waiting for me in the bit of future called December.”

In the meantime, if you’re interested, here’s a bit of flash fiction inspired by the marvelous Chuck Wendig over at his blog, terribleminds.


FROGS

Sorcerers promised love, treasures, and — most of all — wholeness —
— Oaths they swore on the sacred texts of storybooks and fairytales.
She believed.  She hoped.  She stubbornly persisted —
— Through countless kisses bestowed in her quest to find the missing.
Finally she found her prince transformed –
— Only to discover she preferred the company of frogs.

© 2011 Elizabeth Ditty

[short fiction] Contained Heart™

For the first time in months, Sheila could breathe easy.  The physically inexplicable knot of nerves and emotions that caused the ever-present ache in the pit of her stomach was gone.  She touched the little box inside her pocket and smiled.

She’d thought it would be bigger.  How could something capable of causing so much joy and so much pain fit into something no bigger than a thimble?  Her brain couldn’t begin to fathom it, but she knew if the pharmaceutical industry ever got ahold of such technology, they’d have to redefine what it meant to be “filthy rich.”

As it was, she’d stumbled onto the purveyor of her cure quite by accident.  Walking the dirty city streets home from work, still fighting back the tears she’d been guarding against all day, she finally lost the battle when a gust of wind upended her umbrella.

She’d slipped into a little alley and finally surrendered, letting the rain cover up the evidence of her grief.  She was rather caught up in the drama of it all when she felt a tap on her shoulder.  She looked up, startled, to see a hunched old woman there, holding an unmangled umbrella above her head.  There was something about her eyes and the curve of her mouth that was almost a smile that made Sheila wonder vaguely if she had once been beautiful.

“Come inside, dear,” the old woman had said.

Sheila was not usually the sort to run off with random strangers in alleys, but in that moment, she was of the opinion that she really had nothing else to lose.  And so she followed the old woman through a door, hidden to all but the most observant by a façade of brick that matched the wall quite perfectly.

Her memories of what happened next were murky.  She could glimpse the old woman handing her a cup of something warm that might have been tea.  She could hear the story of her latest heartache spilling from her mouth.  She could feel of the old woman’s hand as it held hers — her skin had been smooth and soft, but thin, like it would bruise easily.

When she stepped back out into the alley, it was as if she’d awoken from a very long nap.  The sun was shining, the air was warm, and if it had not been for the verification from her phone that it was in fact the same day, she might have believed she’d slept through the entire winter.  In her hand there had been a piece of paper, which she hadn’t noticed until a warm breeze tried to carry it away from her.

Contained Heart™ Instructions and Recovery

You have just undergone a very delicate procedure to remove your heart.  It’s possible you may experience slight memory problems for a few hours following the procedure.  This is entirely normal and not cause for alarm; however, if symptoms persists beyond seven days, please return for observation.

As discussed prior to your informed consent (please see attached), your heart has been preserved in a uniquely manufactured container, where it will remain safe and functional should you choose to have it reinserted some day.  It is imperative that you keep it on your person at all times.  Failing to adhere to this recommendation can have severe adverse side effects, as discussed prior to your consent.  Please remember that the container also serves as your receipt for the procedure should you encounter any problems.

Your records will be kept on file in the event you choose to return to have your procedure reversed.  Good luck, and we hope you enjoy your newly Contained Heart™.

She flipped to the attached page, which bore a photocopied list of benefits and warnings, punctuated by her signature.  At the bottom, it said, “You will find your new Contained Heart™ waiting for you in: __________________”  Scrawled above the line were the handwritten words “your right-hand skirt pocket.”  And sure enough, that is where she’d found it.  It was silver and cubic, with carvings that could have been simply decorative or perhaps instructive in some language or code she could never hope to decipher.  It was both heavier and warmer than it should have been.

Weeks went by with nothing but good results.  Her friends were surprised and relieved to see her smiling so easily again.  With the heaviness of her heart in her pocket instead of her chest, she felt light and free — perhaps even invincible.

If she’d been able to recall more of the procedure and the conversation that preceded it, she would have been more careful.  The old woman had warned her that hearts have a way of refusing to be contained.  But Sheila did not remember this, and she had never been particular adept at protecting her heart.

After a particularly enjoyable evening out, during which she’d laughed and danced and charmed more than her fair share, she began to feel her mood slip, just the tiniest bit, as she stepped out of the cab that had carried her home.  She chalked it up to one too many drinks, one too many dances, one too many hours in her impressively high-heeled shoes, and thought nothing more of it.

Until morning.  When the light streaming through her window finally woke her, her limbs felt so heavy she could barely gather the will power to move them even an inch.  And that’s when it hit her.  She forced herself out of bed and onto the floor where her skirt lay discarded from the night before.  She reached into its pocket, and her finger, horrifyingly, slipped through the bottom of it.  She flipped it inside out and stared at her finger.  Her pocket, it seemed, had come apart at the seams.

She scoured the floor for the little silver box.  She searched the sidewalk outside her apartment.  She called every cab company in the city.  She begged the manager of the club until he let her search every booth, every crack in the dance floor, every bag of trash collected from the night before.  Her heart was nowhere to be found.

She rushed to the alley in a panic, informed consent and instructions in hand.  She walked up and down, banging all along the brick wall until the old woman finally stepped out.

“Please help me,” Sheila begged.

And once again, the old woman said, “Come inside, dear.”

Again she was handed a cup of something that might have been tea, but Sheila could not take comfort in it this time.  She once again spilled the details of her sad story to the old woman’s patient ears.  When she was done, the old woman took her hand again and squeezed it, but her eyes were sad.

“I’m so sorry, my darling,” she said, “but our specifications were clear.  There is little to be done for those who are careless with their hearts.”

There was more pleading and more tears, but eventually she had to accept there was nothing the old woman could do for her.  She let the old woman lead her out into the alley, and she did not protest when she closed the door.  The sun had gone under the clouds.  All Sheila could feel in that moment was the cold.

But there was something the old woman had not revealed.  In her many years of research, she had learned many things about the heart.  One thing was that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Another was that home is where the heart is.  And so, the old woman could not guarantee it, but over the years she had seen many cases in which these two factors worked together quite well to work things out.  But you cannot simply tell a woman who has lost her heart to take heart.

Across the city, a businessman late for a meeting hurried to the curb as he simultaneously signaled for a cab.  Just as he reached for the handle, a glint of silver in a mound of grimy slush caught his eye.  He squinted at it, but he couldn’t quite fathom what it could be.

“You in or out?”

He looked at the driver, impatience permanently etched onto his face.  He looked at his watch.  He was already so late.  He took his hand off the handle.  The cabbie yelled something rather rude and drove off.  The businessman walked over to the pile of what had once been pristine snow and picked up the tiny box.  It was heavy and warm.  He put it in his breast pocket and signaled for a cab.


© 2011 Elizabeth Ditty

[short fiction] Fire

I know autumn is coming when my thoughts turn gleefully toward the macabre.  I was given an impromptu writing prompt by a friend, which on the surface seemed wildly out of my wheelhouse due to its seemingly comedic bent.  Well, my brain somehow managed to turn it into the story that follows.  To my friend, I apologize in advance for totally cheating on the last sentence.  To everyone else, I hope you enjoy.


FIRE

My mother always told me not to play with fire.

Perhaps it was a warning I should have heeded more carefully, but her caution only served to provoke my interest.  If she’d never said anything, I’d probably have been one of those lucky children who burn their hands on the stove and subsequently learn their lesson with no more suffering than some raw skin under a bandage for a few days.

But no, that was not to be my fate.  As I stand here, shivering, struggling to fight against the elements with no defense, I can think of nothing beyond how I arrived here.  Perhaps if I impart my tale now to the frigid winds, the words will float back in time, to my young mind as a proper warning, or forward into the second thoughts of mothers who first think to instill temptation into their children.

What no one ever tells you is that there are many different kinds of fire, and they all burn in their own special ways.  There is a very specific name for the species of fire that would be my downfall.  Its name was Woman.  I never knew her given name.

I’d seen men watching her, but it wasn’t until she looked into my eyes for the first time that I understood why.

She’d come to my master’s shop while he’d been out.  I was apprenticed to a blacksmith, much to my mother’s chagrin.  The skies were threatening snow that day.  People pulled their clothes tight around them, as if doing so would somehow protect against the biting cold.  But she did not cower.  She walked as if it were a spring day, and the wind rewarded her, playing with her hair, which was black as night, perfectly disheveling it like a lover would, obscuring her face but hiding none of her beauty.

She entered and closed the door behind her.  With one toss of her head, her hair parted, and her eyes locked onto mine.  They were blacker than her hair, and I could not look away.  And then she smiled, and something in them flashed, and I felt as if my very bones were on fire.  My vocation had given me a tolerance for heat, but this was like nothing I’d ever felt.  To this day I cannot remember if she spoke a word, but I understood her perfectly.  Her cauldron had rusted through, and she needed a new one, a stronger one.  I told her I’d see to it personally, as if this would impress her.  She smiled at me again, and then left.

After that, I was always looking for her, every moment of every day, and even worse at night.  Always burning.  As the years passed, the height of my obsession grew with the height of my body.  Everyone watched her, but I watched her best.  Sometimes at night, I would see her through my window, leading a man down an alley.  And she would see me.  I would not look away — I don’t even know if I could have — and she would hold my gaze, smiling as if she knew my most secret thoughts, until she disappeared into the dark with her conquest.  Some nights I was convinced I’d wake up nothing more than a pile of ash.  Some nights I would have welcomed such a destiny.  Anything for relief from the fire.

Finally, I could take no more.  I would either consume the source of these flames or I would be consumed by them entirely.  As soon as night fell, I ventured out.  It was the dead of winter, and the ground was white, but I felt nothing but heat.

I hurried toward the alley where I’d seen her take so many men.  It never occurred to me to consider whether or not those men had ever returned.  My mind could only think of her.  I turned the corner into it and stopped in my tracks.  There at the end, she waited.  She smiled, and her eyes flashed.  The fever was unbearable.  She put a finger to her lips, and then it was outstretched to me, beckoning me toward her.  I stepped forward, and she stepped back.  She said nothing, and yet I understood.  I followed without any thought at all.

We wound our way through the darkest streets, her eyes always alight, my soul threatening to incinerate me from the inside out.  No matter how fast my pace, I could never catch her.  I never hesitated once, not even at the edge of the forest.  While mothers warned of fire, fathers warned of this place — always dark and full of spirits, they said.  A picture from a storybook flickered in my mind — a fairylight leading a man toward an unseen cliff — but it was quickly snuffed out by my blazing heart, so bent on catching its only desire.

She was so far ahead of me now.  I was broke into a sprint, terrified of losing sight of her.  I had only the now-constant glow of her eyes as my compass.  Suddenly, I found myself in a clearing.  In my surprise, I stopped.  The moon illuminated the land, all I saw was her.  Standing mere paces away, she waited.

I took a step toward her, but this time she did not move.  Another, and still she remained.  I continued until I could have reached out and touched her, but I was too afraid.  She smiled, and her eyes blazed orange.  She embraced me, and her lips found mine.  The heat up until now had been nothing.  Her fire engulfed me, scorched my very being.  Never had I imagined such torment and such ecstasy.

And then, at the brink of what I was sure would be my complete incineration, everything suddenly, inexplicably, went cold.  I opened my eyes.  She was gone.

The wind cut through me, and I reached to pull my shirt up around my neck, but my hands found nothing.  I looked at my arms and saw bare, blistered skin.  My eyes travelled down my torso and to where my shoes had been.  There I saw my bare feet, and under them nothing but ash-covered ice.

I searched the landscape for her but found nothing.  Not even my own tracks remained.  I realized I was standing in the dead center of a frozen lake, surrounded by snow-covered trees in every direction, with no indication of the one from which I’d come.

And here I remain.  How I long for that excruciating fire now, the fire that brought me here, to the middle of nowhere, naked and slowly freezing to death.  I try to recall her embrace, to draw some of the warmth from my memory, but I feel nothing but pain.  My only comfort is in knowing that soon, very soon, I shall feel nothing at all.


© 2011 Elizabeth Ditty

[short fiction] The Knight & the Dragon

THE KNIGHT AND THE DRAGON

Once upon a time, in the sort of land now remembered only in fairytales, there lived a dragon.

She was a curious creature, both in nature and temperament, and she was the only one of her kind.  From the moment her snout cracked through the shell and the light first glinted in her eye, she was on her own.  But she was not sad, because she knew no other way to exist.

She grew up prancing with butterflies and dancing with birds until one day a new creature came upon her.  It was the sound of the metal covering his boots against the rock that caught her attention.  What held it was the spear he carried in his right hand, the staff ornately carved and its tip polished to a brilliant shine; she thought it beautiful.  Not knowing any better, she approached.  She did not understand his expression — eyes wide, mouth slightly agape — and so she did not anticipate his action.  He jabbed the spear into her shoulder.  She cried out, and the combination of the pain in her body and the pain in her heart sent flames shooting from her nostrils and throat.

She curled herself into as small a mountain as she could, nursing her bleeding wound, while the cruel creature burned.  She had not known she could do that.  She had not known she would need to.  The trees around her burned as well.  She turned away in shame and closed her eyes, knowing the companions of her youth would visit her no more.  Her tears fell to the ground and turned hard.

She did not open them again until that sound that had brought such destruction returned and jolted her to alert.  Another creature wore that strange expression as its eyes took in the remains of its brethren.  Its face twisted into something new — and ugly.  The dragon twisted her own face to match it, and she felt the smoke escape her nostrils.  The creature raised its arm and with it another spear.  The dragon raised her head.  She breathed out.  The creature was dead.

Next time she would be better prepared.  She stole the ashen metal from the creatures’ bodies and channeled her fear and hate into the heat necessary to mold the pieces to her body.  Every time a new creature came — and they always did — she added to her armor.  Only one place remained uncovered and unprotected, though it was not for lack of materials.  The clearing was littered with extraneous sheets of metal, and on days when the creatures did not accost her, she fashioned it into wondrous approximations of nature.  Surrounded by blackened bark and trees of iron, their limbs inhabited by strange winged creatures who never moved but always stared, the armor-clothed dragon was a fearsome and beautiful sight to behold.

The creatures who approached rarely took the time to look at what she’d created.  No, they saw her only as a force of destruction, and so they were too bent on destroying her in return to see her true nature.  They saw only her teeth, and her fire, and the hatred in her eyes, and the memories of their lost ancestors clouded their own.  They could not see her beauty, and, quite ironically, they could not see the one tiny area where she was was still vulnerable.  High on her back, a small collection of brilliant, iridescent green scales, strong enough to protect her from the elements of nature but not of humanity, gleamed when the sun hit them.  She hated them, despised them for being a reminder of the tender creature she had been, but she could not reach or twist or bend enough to cover them, no matter how hard she tried.

For years and years, the creatures came, always with stronger metals and sharper weapons.  The sound of their armor always gave them away, so thick was the silence on the days they did not come.  She had grown so tired of the sights that greeted her: the cold metal shards that had become her companions, the vicious visitors with hate in their eyes meant for her and her alone.  The smoke and heat from her own fire stung her eyes, and the ground was covered in tiny, hard orbs — the evidence of her pain.  And so there came a day when she closed her eyes from it all, letting the sounds alert her to the ever-impending dangers but rejecting the images that came with them.  And for many years, this was enough to keep her safe.  Until the day a creature approached whom she did not see coming.

This knight, if he could be called that, having weathered so few years on the earth, was different in many ways.  But he had spent most of those years watching the dragon, and he had seen many of his kind burn under her flames.  But he had also seen many other things that no one else had, for he had come to the land as a boy, a wandering child who had meant to find a village where he could settle and find work and make a life for himself, since none had been bestowed to him at birth.  But it just so happened that, on the way to a village that would have granted him all these things, he stumbled across a clearing of silver trees gleaming in the moonlight, and within them he saw a sleeping dragon.  His cloth-covered feet had made no sound, and so she slept, not peacefully, but soundly.  And because the boy was a stranger and knew no stories of the atrocities she had committed, he watched her with curiosity instead of hatred, awe instead of wrath.  And he knew that it would be a very long time, at the very least, before he would move on from this place.

He stayed alive by pilfering the supplies left by the knights who had come before him.  They always had the finest rations, a last meal fit for kings — a promise of the riches they would receive upon returning to the kingdom with the dragon’s hide.  He was certain he could have stolen into the dragon’s clearing while she slept if he’d wanted one of their discarded spears, but, smart lad that he was, he figured he stood as much of a chance with his as-yet-untested wooden bow and arrow than with the weapons of the dead.

On days when the knights came, he watched the battles, taking copious notes in his mind whilst never doubting the outcome.  On days when they didn’t, he gathered supplies, ate his meals, and practiced with his bow and arrow out of earshot.  His nights were spent watching: the rise and fall of her breath, the dark vapor from her nostrils, the occasional clink of a tear to the ground — and, most curiously, the patch of iridescent green in the sea of armor on her back.  And so it was that the boy grew tall and grew strong and grew into a man.

An age had passed since the dragon’s birth, and the knights of the land, having grown tired of death, had begun to choose other ways to test their bravery.  Finally a day came when it had been so long since a knight had tried his luck that the boy would soon have to move on without their abandoned rations.  He thought of the knights and their hopes for their quests here, and he knew what he had to do.  As the sun fell beneath the horizon, he tiptoed toward the dragon.  She did not hear, did not move, did not see, did not suspect.  It was not until she felt the prick of metal against her back that she knew someone was there.  It had been so long since anything had touched her that her eyes flew open involuntarily at the shock of it.  There this peculiar knight stood, his bow drawn, and the arrow poised to pierce her flesh, to end it all  — her work, her anger, her suffering.  She was so tired.  Her fire had gone out.  She lay her head down on the ground and closed her eyes for what she was certain would be the last time.

When the point of the arrow was withdrawn, she thought for a moment it was done.  She chanced a peek.  The knight — was that what he should be called?  His armor was barely more than rags, and his weapon would burn so easily.  Whatever he was, he stood now with his back to her unarmored spot, his weapon not drawn but ready, pointed not at her but out.  He looked to her, and for the first time she looked into the eyes of one of these creatures and saw something other than fear or hate.  This emotion was just as fierce, and in some ways just as terrifying.  She did not know what to call it or how to feel.

Before she had decided, he reached out a hand, bare-skinned, and placed it on the smooth scales of her true body.  She flinched, but his hand remained, resting firmly on her back.  His expression intensified, and, though she couldn’t understand it, she gave way to it.

Others still came from time to time, having heard the legend and hoping to reap the promised rewards.  What they found was not what they had expected.  The silver forest was there, but it was surrounded by green.  The armored dragon was there, but she did not spit flames in their direction.  And next to her, always, stood a man, his bow and arrow ever ready, offering them a meal given by the forest and cooked on a fire created by his companion, before sending them on their way.

They left with no guarantee of riches, but instead with the notion of having taken away something much more valuable, though few were ever able to figure out exactly what it was, let alone how to explain it.  And so the legend faded into the mists of time, existing for a while in the memories of old men as they warmed their withered hands by dying fires, and finally only in the dreams of curious children, cocooned in warm blankets against the coldest of nights.


© 2011 Elizabeth Ditty

This Recipe Will Change Your Life

This recipe will change your life.

That was the promise.  She’d thought nothing of it, to be honest.  After all, it had been a rough morning.

In truth, it had been a rough week, a rough month, a rough quarter, a rough year, and, when it all added up, a rough decade — made all the more frustrating by the feeling that she really had no right to feel this way, having suffered nothing beyond life resisting and continuing to resist her efforts to make it fall into line with her expectations and desires.

And today her plans, per usual, had been thwarted by complications.  Her morning was meant to be spent simultaneously pursuing her dreams and making ratatouille — a simple peasant dish requiring little more than a bevy of summer vegetables, a few glugs of olive oil, and a pot big enough to hold it all, or so she’d thought.

But some time between making her plans and exacting them, she’d been saddled with several setbacks that at best were reminders that said dreams were in fact a statistical improbability and at worst indicators that she simply wasn’t good enough.  Always teeter-tottering between the extremes of not enough and far too much, and always seeming to land on the one most inappropriate for the situation.  In her most melodramatic moments, she was coming to believe that was her lot in life.

But she knew this mood would pass (even though she also knew it would come back), and so she gathered herself up and made her way to the farmers’ market.

In the rain.

She couldn’t curse it, as the poor parched brownery that had once been and hoped to be greenery again some day had suffered even more than humans through weeks of 100-degree heat.  On a better morning, she might even have danced in it, or at the very least thrown her arms out and laughed at the sky.  But this morning she kept her eyes cast downward, in part out of practicality to keep the raindrops off her glasses, and in part because, on mornings like these, she sometimes found it difficult to smile.

After the market (where she’d found plenty of tomatoes and squash, but no shallots or garlic) and the grocery store (where her foot had found a nice, deep puddle) and her necessary (though admittedly indulgent) coffee run, she made it home and set to the task of changing her life, or at least making lunch and dinner for a few days.

As it turned out, there would have been little time for writing that morning anyway, as the recipe directed her toward activities that left her standing barefoot in the kitchen for two hours straight peeling, chopping and/or puréeing batch after batch of everything she’d bought.

First three shallots.  Their fumes made her eyes sting — not that it took much.  She was embarrassingly sensitive to such things; she had once found herself wearing swim goggles to get through a particularly large batch of onions.

To give her eyes a break, she then tackled an entire head of garlic, whose pungent scent reminded her of her grandfather.  He had been a magnificent and creative cook, and somewhere along the family lines, it had become tradition to use amounts of the bulbous herb bordering on ridiculous and maybe even insane to most people.  But she had her grandfather’s genes, and, as she found herself both smiling and tearing up again, she wondered if the old saying, “Two heads are better than one,” would have been appropriate to apply in this situation, too.

She moved on to chopping the five small onions, which brought the tears to a blinding level.  She let these ones spill down her cheeks.  She remembered a past lover, who had once chopped onions for her to spare her the tears.  It was an ironic benevolence, considering how pervasive the pain of that relationship had been.  Still, she felt an acute longing for someone to chop onions for her again, and she was grateful when it was time to move on to the red peppers.

These evoked no memories or tears for her, and so she was able to focus her efforts on scoring right along the white ribs to avoid having to deal with the seeds that clung perilously to the underside of the stem.  Into the food processor the pieces went, and she noted nothing beyond the fact that their obliteration turned them from bright red to a surprising shade of salmon-pink.

Next came the tomatoes.

She’d patiently waited to purchase them behind a couple of fellow market patrons.  The man in charge — though the more appropriate term that came to mind was “farm boy,” as he had that slightly cocky but unoffensive confidence of someone who doesn’t yet know any better — was trying to create a rapport with the man considering his produce.  “It’s two dollars for the corn?” the man had asked.  “Yes, sir, but the worms are free,” he drawled, grinning.  The girl had smiled at the joke, but the man was apparently not looking for amusement that morning.  “I think I’ll try over there,” he said, gesturing to nowhere in particular.  The farm boy just shrugged, unfazed, as he walked away.  The farm boy had far less trouble charming the white-haired woman who stepped up next.

The scent of the cut tomatoes brought the girl back to the present.  A friend had once stated that good, fresh tomatoes smelled very similar to roses.  The girl tried to compare the scent of the open flesh with the one of petals in her mind.  She couldn’t grasp the similarity, but one thing was for sure — they both smelled delightful.  She cut a tiny piece from the tomato and popped it into her mouth.  Somehow, she was not only tasting tomato but garlic and onion and salt and magic.  It was quite possibly the best tomato she’d ever tasted.  Though she felt a pang of regret, she dutifully dumped the segments into the blender, but not before stealing one more bite.  She had a notion to simply pour the purée into a tall glass and call it a day, but she persisted on the promise that the recipe would be even more enlightening.

With the tear-inducing items having allowed the oil and low heat to mellow them, the girl poured the red pepper purée into the mix.  The golden-white and the pepper pink would cook down into a rusty orange concoction as she began the long haul of chopping zucchini.  By the time she was midway through the squash, it was time to sacrifice the tomato purée into the mix.

She continued to dice.  As the ingredients in the pot melded into something more than their individual parts, her mind ran wildly through tunnels of memories, random thoughts, worries, disappointments, and hopes for the future.

The smell of August rain on the streets of Paris.
Her hand run through her hair revealing it was gaining volume and curl in equal proportions, thanks to the humidity.
Arms and legs intertwined in a booth.
Fingers tucked under when chopping, so you only lose skin and not digits — another trick she’d learned from her grandfather.
How the lives that look perfect from the outside are sometimes weighed down with the heaviest burdens.
Laughter at her own silliness that had yet resulted in a hug from a handsome and kind stranger in an alley behind a London theatre.
How the problem with being a manic pixie dream girl is that there’s the manic bit to deal with.
The realization that her heels were beginning to hurt, thanks to their lengthy contact with the hardwood floor.
Fear that she was defined in someone’s mind by her worst moment instead of her best intentions or even potential.
How she’d meant to put on some music when she’d started to help drown out her thoughts.
Amusement that she’d become too distracted by her thoughts to remember to put on said music.
Sadness at the acceptance of a reality in which she might never hear from someone again.
An image of Amélie Poulain, imagining the man she loved returning with the ingredient she needed for the cake she was baking, hearing the rattle of the strung beads in the doorway, turning with hope, and falling into tears at the sight of her cat.
A feeling of being impressed at how her own two dogs continued to hover, as they had since she’d began, waiting to devour anything that fell to the ground, whether it was edible or not.  (She tossed them each a cube of zucchini for their troubles and smiled as they snatched them and ran away, lest she change her mind.)
A craving for a really good French baguette, and annoyance that she would be unable to satisfy it in the near future.
A piano player in a jazz bar, eyes closed, so passionately in the moment, standing and pounding the keys.
The need to switch over the laundry.
Her penchant for falling in temporary lust with musicians who lose themselves in the music on stage.
A line from a poem written for her, only a few weeks ago.
A longing for Paris, and then London, and then Paris again.

And finally she set the knife down.  This recipe will change your life.  The promise echoed in her mind as she slid the largest pan she owned, filled with zucchini and squash and eggplant, into the oven.

And then a new thought occurred to her: What if it could?  She considered what she’d poured into the last few hours.  Hadn’t she lived a lifetime in her mind, or at least a portion of it, as she’d worked?  What if those happinesses, those moments of despair, those inklings of hope had found their way into the synergy of what she’d made?  Surely they’d colored the experience itself.  And if all the physical ingredients could combine to make something new, something different, something better than before, then who’s to say what else was possible?

And so she decided.  This recipe would change her life.  Perhaps it had already.  All she had to do now was wait, and act, and taste, and savor.  A good method for ratatouille, so why not for life?

Hours after she’d begun, she finally sat down with a bowl of her finished concoction.  I’ve got a lot riding on you, she thought.  Do your best.  She tasted it.  She had no regrets.

[FridayFlash] Fortune #3

“You have boyfriend troubles?”

It is more statement than question, and it is the first thing out of the fuschia-saronged woman’s mouth the moment I lower myself onto her pouf cushion.  This is apparently the aura I’m giving out these days, and there’s nothing I can say to defend myself.  So, instead, I let out an uncomfortable laugh.  She doesn’t elaborate — yet.  She just sits down across the little table, smiles knowingly, and takes my hands.  “We shall see,” she says.

As she studies my palms, part of me wants to believe that’s how she begins every fortune. After all, I bet an impressive portion of women seeking out fortunetellers do so because they’re having boyfriend issues or husband issues.  And the lack of a wedding band on my left ring finger obviously signifies, statistically speaking, that there’s a decent chance that I’m having the former.

And so I ignore the look in her eyes that makes me want to believe that she could see that in me.  After all, I am not the sort of girl who lets thoughts of a boy consume her entire being.  Not anymore.  Never again.  I wonder if he’s texted me.

The woman’s thick Persian accent snaps me out of my neuroses and back to reality, and she begins drawing lines with a blank ink pen on my palm, telling me what each signifies.  Much of it is what I’ve heard before, which I suppose is a good sign, but a few things are different.  She asks if I’ve thought about going back to school.  “Not really,” I answer.  Her brow furrows, and she shakes her head.

“No, I see something with education here.  Think about that.”

She moves on before I can begin to.

“Something with sports in your future perhaps,” she mumbles.  “Play sports?”

“When I was younger,” I tell her.

Again, her brow furrows.  “Maybe related to education.  Something with that.”

If she’d meant to distract me from my “boyfriend troubles,” she’s done a good job.  I’m now bent on processing all this, to figure out if there’s any truth, any discernment this woman has about my life that I’ve perhaps not yet touched upon myself.  Despite the fact that I’ve come into this with a healthy amount of skepticism — I don’t want to reveal anything to help them concoct a story that I want to hear — something about her words stirs my imagination if not recognition.

She drops my hands and pulls out the tarot cards.  She lays a few out.

And then she begins guessing names of people in my life left and right with disturbing accuracy.  My father.  A good friend.  My sister.

Another row of cards.  She stares, squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, and then a few searching syllables and consonants escape her lips.

“Who is this person?  The boy?”

“His last name,” I admit.

“He is not the one for you,” she says.  She looks into my eyes.  “But you knew that.”

I nod, but in the moment of silent recognition that follows, I feel my heart sinking straight through my body, through the pouf cushion and into the ground.  Even though she is right that I have always known that her statement is true, my mind’s voice is already shouting its rebuttal: We are not yet done with each other, it insists.  We have more to learn, to teach!  I am not ready to let go.  I am not done falling.

And though I say none of this, and not enough true time passes in that frozen moment for all the emotion to show in my eyes, the woman’s lips just barely curl into a tiny smirk.

“But he is OK for now,” she says, laying out another row of cards as if the matter is settled.  “In current relationship, just go with the flow.  It will be fine.”

My heart returns to my body, settling somewhere in that pit of the stomach where hope and sadness meet.  Not quite home, but close enough to carry on.

“I think that’s pretty good advice regardless of the fortune,” I say.  In fact, that piece of advice alone might have been worth the price of the entire fortune, I think.  Like all good advice, it’s something I already know I should do.  But that’s what the best advice really is — the magic is rarely in the delivery itself, but rather its timing.

The cards continue to reveal their secrets as it all sinks in.

She tells me I should move away, travel at least.  I am unsurprised.  “I’ve considered it,” I tell her.

She tells me to watch out for an ex bent on attacking me somehow.  I am again unsurprised.  “I can handle it,” I say, surprising myself with the steady determination in my voice, and I can tell she does not doubt me.

She delivers the news that I will have three children: two girls and a boy.  Here I am slightly surprised, as she has added one child to the load I was expecting based on a two-minute palm reading I had months ago in London.  I am momentarily hit with the notion that I might want to think about getting started in a nearer future if I’ve got to pop out three kids.  But then she informs me that two of them might be twins, and I figure that buys me a little more time, which is good since taking care of myself seems like a monumental task some days.

She tells me I will marry a man in a uniform.  She does not know what kind — “perhaps a sports uniform” — but definitely a uniform.  I am once again surprised, and this is the most skeptical I have been, for I no longer know for certain that I am the marrying type, and while the idea of a man in uniform might do it for some girls, I have never been in that camp.

“You just wait,” she says, grinning.  “People come back years later and tell me I am always right!  You will see!”  She laughs, and I can’t help but chuckle myself.

Crazy Busy Writer Driven Crazy by Crazy Protag

The first weekend in April, I was one of the lucky “100 + ties” to participate in Round 2 of the CS Open.  I think a lot of people are curious about what the feedback and scores look like for this sort of contest (I know I was, especially in prior years when I didn’t make the cut).  So, if your spirit is kindred to mine, this is the feedback I got (with a total score of 94 [22 for structure, 24 each for style, dialog and originality]), and you can read my first round entry here.

“Great scene! Very fresh, original concept and setting, solid characterizations, and fun dialogue. The only downside to this scene is that it’s a little longer than it probably should be and a version that’s about a page shorter would probably pop more. Even so, great work here!”

{A note: I realize you might read my scene and wonder, “How the hell did that make the cut when my obviously superior scene didn’t?!”  My answer to that is I’ve found these short scene competitions to be really, really subjective, which I think is to be expected especially when dealing with such a small piece of work.  There’s less to judge, and I think a big part of it is whether or not a scene is lucky enough to grab the specific reader assigned to it.  So, if you didn’t make the cut, chalk it up to good creative practice and a spot of feedback for a mere $12, and keep on keeping on. I’ve been there, too, and will be again.}

Moving onto Round 2, I didn’t have a chance to check out the premise until late Friday night, and I will neither confirm or deny the rumor that some unsavory words came out of my mouth.  Here’s the premise:

“Your PROTAGONIST is desperate and mulling a risky proposition. Taking action could result in a personal gain to the protagonist, but at great potential cost in the form of a relationship(s). Write a scene either before or after the decision has been made, addressing it in whatever manner you like. You may use any number of additional characters you desire, and again, keep in mind SUBTEXT when writing dialogue.

One other thing: your protagonist is *crazy*.”

I might have been OK had it not been for the task of inventing and writing a compelling scene about an insane protagonist in the course of a weekend — a very fully socially obligated weekend in which I also was tasked with proofreading a 32-page magazine and having just come off a couple weeks of busting my arse to take advantage of BlueCat Fellini’s resubmission opportunity.  It wasn’t until Sunday that I actually had the time to sit down, hammer out an idea, and write it.  Luckily, when I did find that time, that all came relatively easily, which was an incredibly nice gift from the muses. No clue how my take on the term “crazy” will fly with the judges, but I was mostly just pleased that I didn’t have to kill myself coming up with the scene.

So, since I posted my first one, I figured I might as well post the second one, too.  Feel free to let me know your thoughts, and if you’ve posted yours (Round 1 or Round 2), feel free to link up in the comments!

Another Weekend Bites the Dust

It doesn’t feel like I was all that productive this weekend, but I know that’s not true.  I even have proof.

First off, Matt & I recorded a new podcast, in which we discuss the Oscars and our most anticipated films of 2011.  We also accidentally found ourselves arguing about the best film of 2009.  But these things tend to happen when we talk movies.  Do check it out if that interests you, & if you do, let us know what you think.

The other thing that took up a fair chunk of my weekend was Creative Screenwriting’s Cyberspace Open, which entails receiving a prompt on Friday evening and writing a 3- to 5-page scene by Monday morning.  It’s a fun and inexpensive little contest that forces some creative calisthenics, plus they provide a little feedback on your scene, which is always a nice contest benefit.

(Also, if you missed it last week, I put up a little video of random-stranger interviews regarding Valentine’s Day.)

I haven’t posted my prior CS Open entries, but the ensuing 30-degrees-in-8-hours temperature drop is making me feel a little nutty, so why not?  Hopefully you’ll enjoy, but feel free to let me know what you think, good or bad.

[Memories of Paris] Pigeons

I’m back in Kansas City now after having spent a week in London and a week in Paris, and I’m looking forward to finishing up my short film and starting some new projects, too.  London was wonderful for taking in the art other people had produced, and Paris was perfect for creating some of my own.  I wrote this on the plane back from Paris; hope you enjoy.


PIGEONS

Most people have one of two reactions to the pigeons swarming the square in front of Notre Dame (or really any other place in Paris).  Amusement mingled with amazement at their sheer audacity is one of them, and it is usually reserved for tourists.  The other is indignant annoyance, usually combined with a vigorous shooing hand motion or the harsh thwap of a menu or a book or some other flat object.  This is demonstrated in perfect form by waiters in outdoor cafés.

A third category, much smaller in both number and stature, is the fascinated child, who sees the pigeons as an odd sort of temporary pet meant to be chased around whilst giggling.

These are the three largest divisions of pigeon interaction, but there is a fourth, and it is the true rare bird of pigeon-related behavior: the elderly man or woman who insists on feeding these avian creatures, considered by many to be nothing more than rats with wings.  These folks are content to sit amongst hordes of them, in fact encouraging the birds to come closer.  They remain nearly motionless, living statues, save the motion it takes to toss a handful of seed onto the ground.

I saw one such woman as I looked down upon the square from one of the towers of Notre Dame.  Admittedly, I’d never given these eccentrics much thought.  But from the gargoyle’s eye view, I was suddenly stricken with curiosity.  What possesses any given person to adopt such behavior?  I myself fall into the Amused Tourist category when it comes to pigeons, but when more than three approach I start imagining Hitchcock-esque scenes and quickly add space between myself and the feathered creatures.

But this woman had to have been keeping company with at least fifty if not a hundred, in front, behind, and some even sitting on the bench right next to her.  I was a little baffled, and no small part of me was rather frightened for her safety.

I turned to tap my sister’s shoulder to show her the spectacle, and when I turned back, I saw something even more bizarre.  A mass of pigeons was hovering in a column of sorts, only a few paces from the woman.  I peered at the strange pillar, for a second annoyed that I was so high up.  I pitied the gargoyles who surrounded me, always watching from this dead space between heaven and earth.

But then the column began to change before my eyes.  Whether it was some sort of cognitive process catching up to reality or a bit of magic happening on the ground, I cannot say with any certainty, but I know what I choose to believe.  I no longer saw a pillar of pigeons but a man, matched in age to the woman on the bench.  He wore a Bogey-style hat, and a pigeon sat on top of it.  His arms were outstretched, and there were three pigeons on each.  The woman did not run away frightened or jump up with excitement.  She simply remained on the bench, her face turned toward the man.  I could not see her expression from my position, but it must have been welcoming, as the man sat down beside her, displacing some of his avian companions (though they did not seem to mind — they almost seemed to make room for him, as if they accepted him as an equal, just as deserving of the woman’s attention as they were).

At that moment, we were siphoned into another stairwell leading to the very top of the tower.  From there, I could see all of Paris, but the woman, her pigeons, and her mysterious male companion were gone.  The bench was empty, for a moment, and whatever I’d just witnessed (a meeting? a reunion?) remained only in my memory.


© 2010 Elizabeth Ditty

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