Category Archives: year in review

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year. If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 21: Future Self: Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)

So, I totally misread this and wrote a letter to myself 10 years from now, and then a letter from myself 10 years from now to my current self. Which left me feeling very schizophrenic and thinking…

“You should know, this is the strangest thing I have ever done!”

(On a side note, if you have not seen TANGLED, get thee to a cinema! Now! You can thank me later.)

And then I figured, what the hell, might as well do the bonus the right way, too.  So, now I’ve got three letters to my selves.  Here they are.

(Apologetically Helpless) 2010 Ditty to (Terribly Naïve) 2000 Ditty

Dear 2000 Ditty,

I’m not going to lie. You’ve got some rough years ahead, friend.  It’s not all bad, of course, especially toward the end of the 10 years.  Best of all, you rediscover who you are.  I kind of like to think of 2001 through 2008 as Simba’s Lost Years.  2009′s sort of the year you take back Pride Rock.  And 2010′s when everything starts growing again.  So, it all ends up sort of beautiful, in the end.

So, chin up.  You’ll get through, and you’ll be better off and stronger and happier than you will, at times, believe you can be.

And because a letter from one’s future self is never complete without a cryptic message, I’ll leave you with this: You’ll get your Eowyn moment, but you won’t fully understand it until you’re writing this very letter.

Having survived and thrived,
2010 Ditty

(Unbearably Earnest) 2010 Ditty to 2020 Ditty

Dear 2020 Ditty,

I’ve got high hopes for you.
I hope someone is paying you to do what you love.
I hope you’re still doing what you love, even if no one is yet.
I hope you’ve found love, or that love has found you, and in a way that doesn’t hurt.
I hope you’ve found satisfaction from time to time, but that you’ve never let yourself become complacent.
Part of me hopes you’re a little more polished, mostly when you’re really nervous.
Part of me hopes you’re still a huge dweeb, especially when you’re really excited about something.
I sort of hope you still occasionally get mistaken for a high schooler, though that’d be pretty impressive at your age. No offense.  Maybe a college student, though?
I hope you’ve seen some really cool, new places, and I hope you’ve made it back to the places you already love, like London and Paris and Disney World.
I hope you’ve kept friends and made new ones.
I hope you’ve been surprised.
Mostly I hope you’re happy with where you’ve been and where you are and where you’re going, and that you are still in the middle of this grand adventure called life.

Carpe diem,
2010 Ditty

And finally, (Annoyingly Vague) 2020 Ditty to 2010 Ditty

Dear 2010 Ditty,

Everything has happened exactly as it should have happened.  It probably hasn’t gone as you’ve imagined, but it’s gone well, nonetheless.  You’ve survived everything, and you’ve had a pretty fantastic time along the way.  So, hakuna matata, OK?  No worries, no fear, and always CARPE DIEM.  That’s how you get here.  It’s all happening, and it’s all good.

Enjoy the ride,
2020 Ditty

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year. If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 20: Beyond Avoidance: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

Honestly, the only thing I probably should have done this year that I didn’t actually do is get my house in better order. How boring an answer is that? But as I’ve covered in a previous #reverb10 post, I’m a big advocate of actually doing things you want or feel meant to do rather than putting them off for “some day.”

So, while a Responsible Adult probably shouldn’t have seven Chipotle sacks sitting beside her desk, or eight pairs of shoes acting as an obstacle course in the hallway, or stair railings masquerading as clothes-drying devices or coat/scarf/hat/random canvas bag racks, I’m not going to bemoan my failure at living up to that title too much because of what I’ve gained: writing time, workout time, movie time, hanging-out-with-friends-(though-not-at-my-house-because-it-looks-like-a-hurricane-hit-it) time, adventure time, etc.

That being said, I do intend to make some efforts in this area before the year’s out because it’s sort of driving me batty (and anyone who could see the state of it would probably think me batty anyway).

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year. If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 18: Try: What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

In 2009, I did a lot of weird/unique things, like an introductory class on fencing and taking up horseback riding for about five months to learn the basics.  I also took an intermediate French class to brush up on my language skills, as well as a class on creating children’s books which would have been a bit of a waste of time except it did yield an idea for a picture book.

I feel like I tried fewer weird and/or unique things in 2010.  I did try hot yoga on a whim, and I fell in love with it (as I did horseback riding and fencing).  This year was more focused on traveling, and I suppose the way in which I did that might seem weird and/or unique to some folks (a two-week trip to London & Paris with my youngest sister, and a one-week return trip to London on my own as a gift to myself for my golden birthday).  I also made a short film, which I guess isn’t something many people do.

While not weird or unique, I did go on a lengthy, rocky, and up-a-very-big-mountain hike with my sister, which is something neither of us had ever done.  There’s not much opportunity for that sort of thing in Kansas City (that I’m aware of), but I did love it, and it was an interesting way to spend an afternoon.

In 2011, I want to try more weird and/or unique things.  Mostly, I want to follow wild hares more often, and half that battle is just being on the lookout for them.

Potentially on the agenda:

• I’m going to see New York this year for sure, and I’m going to take some long-weekend-style trips to see more new places (suggestions welcome!).
• I’ve always wanted to learn a martial art, so I should probably do that.
• Part of me would love to find a way to work fencing and maybe even horseback riding back into my life, even though they’re not technically new.
• I wouldn’t mind taking a wine-tasting class, so I can have a more informed reaction to it than my current standbys of, “Yeah, this is pretty good,” or “Eh, not my favorite.”

One thing is happening for certain, because I bought a Groupon for it and thus have no choice but to make use of it.  In January, I’m going to learn how to hang on to silk for dear life whilst suspended from the ceiling, an art also known as aerial acrobatics.  Wish me luck.

Dec. 19: Healing: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leonie Allan)

I’ve already talked about hot yoga quite a bit, so I’ll make this quick and to the point.  I’ve got a bit of a body image distortion thing going on, which is very typical for folks who have lost a significant amount of weight — and really for a lot of women in general, I think.  Nothing has done more to fix some of that than yoga.  Whether it’s being forced to stare at oneself in the mirror for 90 minutes whilst balancing and twisting into all sorts of crazy poses or the whole mind-body connection, I don’t know. All I know is it’s helped.

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year. If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 16: Friendship: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

Interacting with friends from all different walks of life has convinced me that, in general, things would go a lot better if we’d all just chill out a little. I’ve always had a tendency to play peacemaker, and I think that’s what allows me to move between groups with relative ease.  I count conservative Christians, staunch atheists, and cynical agnostics, and folks of all manner of political leanings among my circle of very good friends, and I think they all have very good points at different times.  Ideologies aside, I think they’re all brilliant in their own varying ways, and I feel very lucky to know them all.

The change has been gradual, as I went from being very involved in one of those groups to not being involved in any of them other than as a sort of curious bystander.  There’s nothing novel about what I’m saying here, but I’ll say it anyway.  We can learn a lot from one another if we stop trying to convince everyone that Our Way Is the Best/Only Way and instead actually listen and try to understand the other Ways, not as threats, but simply as extensions of how we are collectively trying to do this thing called Being Human.

Dec. 17: Lesson Learned: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

When I’ve got a potentially big moment coming my way, I have a tendency to run through every single way I think it could go, and I mentally create little scripts for myself for each situation. I even rehearse sometimes. Sometimes this is fun, and sometimes it stresses me the heck out.

I suppose this is sort of the way of a writer, especially a screenwriter, as we spend so many of our hours envisioning coherent, arcing, beat-style scenes. (Or at least that’s the defense I’m using instead of, “Sorry, I’m just neurotic like that.)

Scenes in movies are supposed to work on an independent level as well as link in a meaningful way to what’s come before and what’s to come after.  As the creator of these scenes in a script, you have the advantage of knowing the before and after (unless you’re a pantser, but that’s a different post), as well as the ability to control how everyone thinks, acts and speaks.

But the problem with life is, you can only control yourself, and sometimes we even fail at that.  I can script a conversation a hundred different ways in my head, but the second the person I’m interacting with goes off-script, I’m done for. I’ve got no idea what comes next. I don’t know what I should do or say to keep the scene flowing.  And what happens is any iota of wit or charm I had going for me disappears, and the best I can hope for is to be amusing in a pitiful sort of way.

What lesson have I learned from this? I’m a little embarrassed to admit it’s one I’ve learned before, but I have a feeling it’s going to be one I have to learn over and over again periodically for the rest of my life. Anyway, lesson is, don’t script my life. When I enter a situation without a script, I do fine — and often better. So, just relax, show up, be present, and see what happens. Save the scripting for, you know, actual scripts.

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year. If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 14: Appreciate: What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

One thing I’ve really become aware of this year is how easy it is to add or subtract joy from someone’s life. In every single interaction we have, we make a choice — to be cranky, to be pleasant, to complain, to compliment, to stare straight ahead, to smile.  And through that awareness, I’ve really come to appreciate the people who consistently choose to add joy to their interactions, as well as the opportunities to do so myself.

Perhaps oddly, I think this is most evident in the places of business where I’ve become a sort of regular. Where I started going for the convenience and/or quality, I kept coming back so often because of the people.  It takes less effort to get what you came for without considering the people behind the counter, and when they’re working so hard to serve so many people, I’m sure it’s easier for them to do the same.  But a smile, a “how are you?”, or a “have a nice day” adds an amazing amount of joy, no matter which side those things come from.

So, let me take this opportunity to say to my friends at the Chipman Road Starbucks & Chipotle, I appreciate you all more than you probably know, and I hope that I’ve managed to bring something pleasant to your lives as well.

Dec. 15: Five Minutes: Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

Quickly and in no particular order:

The artist in Montmartre, the man outside the theatre, and the guy in Covent Garden who liked my magenta tights.

Eating insane amounts of pastries in Paris with my sister, and getting to meet the gargoyles at the top of Notre Dame.

Kate & me, preparing to go Wilde.

Me and my gargoyle friend.

Seeing my oldest friend become the cutest pregnant lady ever.

My skin tone matches her hair.

Great conversations with fantastic people, most of whom I’ve yet to meet in real life.

Having mild success and massive failure with the same script.  Making a short film with small group of wonderful friends, and showing it to a larger one.

Hot yoga. Running my first 5K (in 20 degree weather). Finding my very own inner fitness badass (with many thanks to Jillian Michaels, Bob Harper, and Tony Horton).

Fun times with my quirky, neurotic, crazy, could-be-a-sitcom family.

I think my five minutes were up a while ago, but to everyone who’s been a part of an awesome year: THANK YOU.

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year. If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 13: Action: When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

I’m getting back into the swing of things with my writing (finally got to change my ticker from zero, thank goodness — didn’t appreciate it taunting me during the outlining phase).  I’ve set some ambitious but not-impossible deadlines for myself that’ll carry me to the end of January.  (I’ll be jumping into the super fun world of querying early next year for a couple of different projects, so I’ve got that to look forward to.)

Let me step up on my soapbox here for a moment, because I believe this is one of the most important concepts to wrap your head around.

I’m a big advocate of doing rather than talking about doing. “Some day” is the enemy of making your dreams a reality. If you want something (to write a novel, to make a movie, to take a trip, to run a marathon, to climb a mountain, etc.), create a plan, and take action. Do something every day that takes you closer to your goals. It’s the only way to get there.

While I felt the movie itself was flawed (but what movie isn’t?), THE ANSWER MAN did have a spectacular bit of wisdom: “The trick is to realize that you’re always doing what you want to do… always. Nobody’s making you do anything. Once you get that, you see that you’re free and that life is really just a series of choices. Nothing happens to you. You choose.”

So, choose wisely and in a manner to support what you want out of life — both what you want to experience and what you want to contribute. Live actively and intentionally. And right now is the perfect time to figure out how you want to do that.

And that’s me stepping down from the soapbox. Happy Monday.

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year. If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 11: 11 Things: What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

Can I be honest? I think simplicity is great, but I also believe you can reach a point where things get a little too simple. Short of having a slightly embarrassing amount of clutter (which I’m currently working on ejecting), I honestly don’t think there’s anything significant in my life I want to eliminate. I’ve already simplified things. I’m thinking maybe it’s time to start adding a little complication again. So, in that vein, here are 11 things I’d like to add to my life in 2011.

1. More travel.
2. More fruitful work.
3. More friends.
4. More collaboration.
5. More risk.
6. More opportunity.
7. More relaxation.
8. More acts of kindness (random or not).
9. More dressing up.
10. More laughter (even if it’s at myself).
11. More hugs.

Maybe in 2012 I’ll need to simplify & eliminate again, but in 2011, I want more rather than less.

Dec. 12: Body Integration: This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

This feels like a boring answer, but I think I feel this most often when I work out, and probably most during the sorts of activities where I don’t consider myself a natural — namely, running and yoga. Ninety-nine percent of the time, hitting “failure” — the point where you can’t run another step or hold a pose another second — is entirely mental. When we experience discomfort, it’s our natural instinct to stop. The problem with that is, if we stop any time we feel uncomfortable, we never grow. We never get to the next level. We never advance. And while there are a number of unfortunate effects of that, it’s also boring as hell.

Maybe it’s the storyteller in me, but I want to have a character arc. And learning that I don’t have to stop just because I’m uncomfortable — that the point of discomfort is the place where change happens — has been vital in pushing myself forward this year. Maybe it’s masochistic, but I almost look forward to those moments when I don’t know if I can go on because it gives the the opportunity to triumph.

And it’s in these moments when you’re forced to shut down a part of your mind and, to shill for Nike, just do it. Jillian Michaels said it in a much more zen way: “Feel the pain, acknowledge it, and move through it.” It’s a statement I’ve come back to time and again this year, especially whilst running. It’s a manner of thought that brings me back in tune with my body. I really like the aspect of feeling/acknowledging, as opposed to ignoring. Ignoring your body’s signals can be dangerous and destructive; learning to be present, to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable,” to quote Ms. Michaels again, is part of the journey.

So, while I’ve learned these lessons via exercise (which is one of the big reasons I champion health & fitness — the mental side is just as important as the physical one), it’s something I try to carry over into other aspects of my life. There are a lot of days that I don’t feel like writing, to be honest. I feel like snapping my fingers and having the perfect version of what’s in my mind appear on the page, sure. But the actual, grueling, teeth-and-hair-pulling act of writing? Unless I’m in that blessed place sometimes called The Zone, it’s not exactly enjoyable. But I also know that, just like in running or in yoga, I’m not going to have a shot at getting into The Zone without going through the discomfort of starting. So I feel it, acknowledge it, and then move through it, because achieving (on most days) is more important than relieving the temporary discomfort.

The more we can be present in our bodies, our lives, our circumstances, the more fully we can experience them, and the more we take from them. One thing I try to carry with me is that there is beauty and worth in all experience if we choose to see it. There is as much beauty in melancholy as there is in joy. One is more pleasurable than the other, but they both inform our lives if we allow it.

So, while I don’t have a single moment to share, I will say I make an effort toward this most days, and the concept of mindfulness (or being present) has perhaps done more for my sense of well-being (and truly, my sanity) than anything else in the past five years.

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year.  If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 10: Wisdom: What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

I’m having a heck of a time with this one. I mean, I feel as if I’ve made a number of good decisions this past year, but can any of them be called truly “wise”? There’s a difference between knowledge and wisdom. I’m good at operating with knowledge. I do my research, gather my resources, and make the best possible decision with the information I have available. But “wisdom” implies some intuitive hint of the unknown, a certain mysticism that drives us toward something without a concrete reason to support it.  Maybe I’m overthinking this, but hey, that’s what I do.

When I asked a couple of my friends what my wisest decision of the year might be, I got the following responses.

From Matt and full of snark: “Writing [redacted] a letter.  Changing your diet/exercise before you became anorexic. Not getting lost in Paris and never coming home. Buying those really awesome impractical shoes.”

From Brittany: Taking active control of my health/fitness (which I said didn’t count because I technically made that decision in 2009), going back to London a second time alone (though she added, “although some might consider that not so wise”), and “something like, ‘this moment might seem like it was stupid but it was actually wise because…and that’s how most things go in my life” (which leads me to believe that Brittany spends a lot of time snickering at me behind my back).

So, while I do think I’ve made some good decisions this year (writing & directing a short film, going to Paris, going to London twice, focusing all year long on improving my health & fitness, etc.), it’s hard to pinpoint if any single decision has that ephemeral, hard-to-capture essence of true wisdom. I like to think that some seemingly insignificant decision, or even something that, as Brittany suggested, seemed silly at the time, was in fact wise in the end.

Maybe the decision to buy those impractical but awesome shoes I’ve yet to have an occasion to wear will turn out to be full of wisdom in the end. Perhaps the decision to pursue a certain project will yield unimagined results, whether through insight or, knock on wood, some sort of success. Maybe a connection forged during the year, be it a chance meeting or a friendship old or new, will prove wise beyond what I can currently perceive.

That’s part of the magic of true wisdom; it often can’t be recognized until long after the initial moment has passed.