[#Reverb10] The Last: Dec. 29, 30, 31

#Reverb10 is a movement to encourage folks to tackle a daily prompt with the intent of reflecting on their year. If you’d like to get involved, it’s not too late! You can backtrack to previous prompts or simply jump in where you are. If you’re interested, you can see all my #reverb10 posts here.

Dec. 29: Defining moment: Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. (Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

This year feels like it’s been full of defining moments. I covered a lot of them in my Dec. 15 post. One thing I didn’t cover was the actual screening of my short film.  That was one of the more nerve-wracking things I’ve ever done.  E-mailing someone a script to read in the privacy of their own lives is one thing. Watching a group of nearly 20 of your friends, family and acquaintances take in and react to something you’ve created from scratch is something altogether different. Thankfully, everyone either enjoyed the film or did a decent enough job pretending they enjoyed it that I didn’t feel the need to crawl under a rock and die afterwards.  Quite the contrary, once I’d gotten over the emotional hurdle of actually showing the film, it was nice to have had the opportunity to share something with people I care about.

Dec. 30: Gift: This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year? (Author: Holly Root)

I’ve been blessed time and time again this year, so it’s hard to narrow it down to just one thing.  I’m incredibly grateful for all the people who have taken the time to support me in various endeavors, whether it’s been reading scripts and giving feedback, offering an ear when I needed to vent, or even just providing a distraction when I needed to escape some aspect of my life for a bit. I’ve been amazed by the kindness of strangers over and over again this year, and to those who have been so gracious with my heart and ego, I cannot thank you enough.

Dec. 31: Core story: What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (Author: Molly O’Neill)

There’s one word I’ve returned to over and over again over the past several years, as I’ve struggled and striven and failed and succeeded at any number of things.  It’s part of a mantra I’ve stolen from one of my favorite movies, which I refuse to define as a guilty pleasure: ELIZABETHTOWN.

“We are intrepid.  We carry on.”

It’s a word that means “resolutely fearless, bold, courageous.”  It’s a definition that strikes me as a call to refuse to acknowledge fear.  It may be there in the recesses of the mind; it may be trying to work its way to the forefront.  But we can stubbornly refuse it entry into our actions and motivations.

For a long time, I operated out of fear: fear of what people would think, fear of not living up to my own expectations, fear of regret, fear that I wasn’t strong enough to bear whatever trials were to come.

But then I came across a profound statement in the writings of Thich Nhat Hanh.  I don’t remember the exact words, but, in essence, he said that fear is imagining yourself in a set of circumstances that don’t exist. I don’t know about you, but that seems like a poor use of the power of the mind.  I’d rather focus on the here and now, what I have and what I can do to make the most of the present moment.

So, since the discovery of that principle, I’ve tried to make my core story one of being intrepid.  And I’ve got to tell you, it’s really worked out pretty well.  Have a fallen on my face a few times? Of course. But that’s going to happen no matter what.  That’s when the second part of the mantra comes in handy.  You get up, brush off the grit, have a laugh at yourself, and carry on.

3 thoughts on “[#Reverb10] The Last: Dec. 29, 30, 31

    • I think ELIZABETHTOWN is a lovely (if flawed) film. Seems to be one of those “love it or hate it” types, though. Always nice to meet someone else in the “love it” camp. 🙂

  1. Pingback: 2010: My Year in Review « Elizabethan Theatre

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s