When I was reviewing what I’d intended to accomplish and what I actually did accomplish in 2014, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I had a lot of lovely, wonderful, life-affirming experiences.
I visited Washington, D.C., for the first time. I returned to Paris. I got married to the love of my life and had the wedding I wanted. I honeymooned in New Orleans & St. Louis. I super enjoyed being the mother of a one-year-old.
On the other hand, in a year where I proclaimed my one word as “Core,” a year of getting back to the core of whom I am, reclaiming myself as a writer, getting back in shape, etc., etc., well… That’s where I disappointed myself a bit. I revised one screenplay. I wrote less than 100 percent of a couple of first drafts. I wrote a mere six short stories. STILL went nowhere (& I can’t justify siphoning more money into trying to get it somewhere). And despite finishing a round of P90X3, I ended up gaining 20 pounds instead of losing the 20 I had left post-Pip.
I spent several weeks reviewing my year and trying to figure out where I wanted to go in 2015 and how I could create the best ways to make that journey happen. And what I settled on for my one word for 2015 is this: YES.
This word’s meaning for me this year is two-fold.
Firstly, I’ve had a long string of collecting nos when it comes to my writing. After the high of being named a semifinalist in the Austin Film Festival screenplay competition, it’s been nothing but NO ever since. It’s been disconcerting and disheartening, and it hasn’t been good for my motivation. But I’ve decided this year I’m going to start working toward getting my YES again, even if that means putting myself and my stories out there and collecting a few more nos along the way.
And secondly, I think 2014 was a year of allowing myself to say no to a lot of things. Too tired? Not enough time? Not enough space? Not enough mental energy to focus? Then no, you don’t have to write or work out. You can binge-watch Grey’s Anatomy or Gilmore Girls or Scandal or any other show you’re way behind on instead.
By allowing myself to say no so often, I ended up with results I’m not very pleased with. So, this year, I’m saying yes to my goals, despite hurdles. I’m tired, but I’m going to spend 10 minutes plotting out a few points of this story. I don’t have much space nor a babysitter tonight, but I can jump on the stationary bike while I watch that next episode of Gilmore Girls. And yes, we can rearrange our schedules so that I get at least one night a week out of the house to write write write.
So that’s my thing for 2015: YES. It’s going to be another crazy year with its own set of obstacles and hurdles and adventures and twists and turns. But I’m going to do my part to make it a good one. Neil Gaiman always has the best New Year’s wishes, so I’ll leave you once again with what he said this year:
Be kind to yourself in the year ahead.Remember to forgive yourself, and to forgive others. It’s too easy to be outraged these days, so much harder to change things, to reach out, to understand.Try to make your time matter: minutes and hours and days and weeks can blow away like dead leaves, with nothing to show but time you spent not quite ever doing things, or time you spent waiting to begin.Meet new people and talk to them. Make new things and show them to people who might enjoy them.Hug too much. Smile too much. And, when you can, love.